Your HoH is Wrong Part III: True North

I’m not quite done yet.

Your HoH  will be wrong.  Any authority can be.

Will be.

Take a look at the long view.     Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.


If you grow up in circumstances where authority can’t be trusted, rot creeps into your soul and giving way to authority is risky business.

Being an authority figure-of any sorts-is a responsibility not to be taken lightly. When–not if–you screw up, you hurt people. If you really screw it up, you can hurt them in their core.

If you grew up scarred, and you’re lucky, you learn to take care of yourself. You learn to recognize the false.

The sad part of this success story is– it becomes very hard to trust anyone completely. You might do a great job of faking it, but deep inside you know it’s your job to take care of yourself.
And it is your job.

But when you submit to authority, you should be able to trust your long term safety, your long term growth, your long term best interests are in good hands.

Your HoH can be, will be wrong.

Take a look at the long view.

It’s ironic, to be me, giving way.  And at times, it is also frightening.

“You trust him, right?”  A man in an on line forum asked me. “To know what’s best for you?”

I was dumbfounded.  Why would I do that?  Could I do that?

SHOULD I do that?

Eventually, I was able to answer: “Yes. I do.”

I spent much of my adult life helping wounded people learn to stand up and walk away from authority figures who didn’t  have their best interests at heart. I didn’t do this because I’m a nice person.  I was learning  to walk away myself,  by watching all of you who did it at my urging and with my support.

I still have to walk away, occasionally.

Sometimes the people you give the most power to, the people you love the most, reveal themselves in a split second. You don’t want to believe your eyes. You don’t want to listen to your instincts. You mutter the party line often enough in your head and you forget you saw that person, stark naked, for that brief, split fraction in time.
Well, you did.

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
If you came from that background-however nice it may have looked and even felt on the surface–doubting your instincts was an important tool they used to keep you fooled.

Are you always making excuses for your HoH?

Does your soul ache?


Trust your guts.
Walk away.

Your HoH can be, will be wrong.

Take a look at the long view.

Are you cherished? Encouraged? Supported? Caught safe in joyful strong arms as you come down?  Is your HoH working as hard as you are? Is there joy?

                                        Then take the long view. Enjoy.