Huge Penises, Tight Pussys and Orgasms the First Time

Faithful readers know I need a dose of realism in a book. Never mind that I’m reading fiction. It’s a failing of mine.  When the hero wallops a woman he’s just met, I’d like to be easy- going enough to enjoy myself.

I can’t.

I want to know why she doesn’t clobber him, knock him to the ground and stomp the heck out of him.   Before making a beeline to the police station.

Here’s another couple of problems I have:

The hero has an immense penis.

In fact, his penis is so big, the dude must take great care not to hurt our heroine as he maneuvers his way to the locus of her femininity.  She, by the way, is  initially thrilled by the size when she first catches sight of the member (Bobbing free of the underwear of choice). As he inserts himself, however, she has a moment of discomfort. Then she is swept away by passion and urges him to get on with it

https://i2.wp.com/images.wikia.com/orchids/en/images/e/ed/Dracula_brangeri.jpg    It being the insertion of his  penis into her extremely tight pussy.  You see, she has spent hours, daily, on her Kegel exercises. Also, (and this is important) her feminine folds are tight because she hasn’t had sex in a very long time. (Apparently she also hasn’t given birth) (It’s fine the hero sets out to redden her bottom the second he sets eyes on her, but don’t think for a minute the woman is a wench, enjoying sex on a regular basis). It’s been a long time, a very long time, so it hurts. A bit. Driving our hero to the edge of orgasm.

Which brings us to the next thing jolting me from my reader trance: Our heroine has the best orgasm she’s  ever had. Usually several. With a man who has never touched her before.  Because, of course, he is a master of orgasm having spent years studying with Geishas in Tibet.  (I know. The Geishas  aren’t really in Tibet. Focus on the important, will ya?)

Many readers dislike “Purple Prose”. In case you aren’t familiar with the term, here’s an example:

Duke’s eyes roamed, starved lions, over the swollen lips of her heaving, molten core.

Sorry.

That’s not a very good example. Apparently, not only do I fail to appreciate purple prose, I’m can’t write it. My husband, bless his heart, occasionally spouts it into my ear. To make me laugh hysterically. NOT in an effort to seduce me. (Seducing me is very easy. All he has to do is flash that look.)

 

 

Are other readers annoyed  by these things?  When I read them I’m aware of niggling irritation, just enough to jostle me out of Complete Reader Nirvana.

It’s not size, people. It’s what you do with what you have. We know this.

I suspect my pussy isn’t tight as a–a what ? Drum? Glove? ( See? Not good at purple prose.)  I’ve delivered children, people. VAGINALLY.  And yes. When traffic comes to a complete stop on a highway I do kegels. After I’ve checked my messages.  And e-mail. Facebook.

Played DOGE 2048 until my brain is bleeding.

Cleaned out my purse.

The glove compartment.

Anything within reach of my hand.

I like to hold the belief I still give Him a lot of sexual pleasure. When the heroines all have teeny tiny pussys that cause Duke  to wince, my eyes roll.

Truth: I become insecure.  I calculate the last time I did vagina tightening exercises.

I know. My problem. Still…..I don’t want any woman to think about kegels in the middle of a hot sex scene.

I have always enjoyed sex. Even BEFORE I had sex with anyone other than myself.

Listen:  I’ve had orgasms.

Sometimes I’ve enjoyed myself considerably.

Occasionally I THOUGHT I’d  had an orgasm.

     Every now and then I had an orgasm that came close to being better than the ones I give myself.

Once HE really hit his stride, I’ve enjoyed regular orgasms, definitely better than any I can produce.

I’ve never had an orgasm with a man I just met.  My informal, totally unscientific poll, revealed I am not alone in this tragic circumstance.

What about you?

10 thoughts on “Huge Penises, Tight Pussys and Orgasms the First Time

  1. Saoirse, I am falling off my chair laughing! Why? Because I am nodding in agreement. Kegels, my arse! Believe me, after having children, nothing works the same, or looks the same! And this is a person who does regular Pilates talking. LOL!

    I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of experience of ‘different penises’ so I hardly dare comment, but I do admit to having always been happy with the one I know and love. Frankly, I prefer reading the descriptions of other things in erotic literature, like the size of a man’s muscles and whether I can imagine him being romantic enough to kiss from the tips of my toes to the tops of my head. Men’s dangly bits can be fun, of course they can, but let’s face it, they are not the most alluring bits of anatomy. Giggle.

    Hugs
    Ami

  2. Good to hear from you again! And – yea!!!!

    I just finished two books (purportedly non-fiction/memoirs). There was a disconcerting amount of sex being had – 3, 4, 5 times a day most days – but – they were young and no kids – i think that might make a difference vs. almost 50 and a house full of teens ?!? But there was no mention at all of the size or impressiveness or awe-inspiringness of penises, just that they were lovely and the object of her affection. There was also no trying to pretend that she was itty bitty or virginally tight. There was in fact very little discussion of the actual attributes of the bodies – just the fun and the pleasure they provided. I found it incredibly refreshing. And more believable, and relate-able. For me – that’s part of the appeal of D/s – it makes it all in the mind, not all in the body.

    • I agree, gg. The appeal of ttwd is mental. And the less description of the physical body the better, because I’m allowed to see my fantasy, and you yours. 3, 4, 5, times a day? Heck! With kids in the house one has to be resolute to even make it to 1! Thanks for visiting :)!

  3. I love your writing. I want to crawl in to the story and live it along with the characters. I recently read giving way in the 4 part series after having read the two part books. I liked the 4 part series better. It flowed better for me. Denise wasn’t struggling as much, she was more responsive to Andrew. The book version was more frustrating. So happy about and anxious to read your new work. Can’t wait! I need real stories, not just spanking scenes. Your work is so satisfying. And yes I’m sick of hearing of all these virgins having explosive orgasms the first time out.

    • Totally made my day! My week! Thank you! The Giving Way series was written originally as a 4 part series. There was a bit of a misunderstanding between the publisher and I. We did our best to have a meeting of the minds, but it is really hard to go back and re write something a year later. I can’t wait for Getting It Right to be released (Hopefully in January 2015). I think readers will like it-and then I get really weird and am afraid my best readers will hate it! Ah the life of writing!Thanks for visiting, and giving me a great boost in spirits!
      saoirse

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