The Usual Question: Am I a Sicko?

Earlier this week I watched a clip from (  Patrick Stewart (Star Trek, right? Sorry, not my thing) speaking at Amnesty International   about violence towards women. It was a good speech, made by a man who seems lovely. Feel free to leave here and go watch and listen.

Of course I hope you come back.

The speech threw me into a funk.  I had just zipped my latest manuscript off to the editors, with several scenes of rough sex, bottom warming, and general using of physical force at times of emotional duress. No one, I thought, who knows me well outside of this community of like minded perverts would believe I wrote those books.

But I did.

I loved them.

Some of you loved them.

Even if you didn’t love them, even if you would rather go without ttyd* than read, you too probably lay awake at nights, occasionally wondering:  what the heck is wrong with me?  I am a strong, independent, successful woman. Why do I yearn for such events?

Or maybe: I’m a strong man, sure, but I love an independent, successful woman, so why is it I yearn to upend her over my knee and remove my belt?

Feel free to flip your sexual orientation and position in the power transfer……Anyone can spank anyone (unless: someone says no) as far as I’m concerned.

As usual, after several days of thought, and some kicking around with others, I end up in the usual place:

Location A:  Saoirse, roughly, translate to “Freedom”

                            Roghan, equally roughly, translates to : “Choice”

That’s why I chose the Alias** I did.  Freedom of Choice is the difference bewteen the Neanderthal Age, misogeny, patriarcy etc and ttwd.

Location B: Find the theory/explanation of your choice.

Safe. Sane. Consensual.

So the answwer to the Usual Question (See Title) is:

No. I’m a Spanko.

                                                                      (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)

(ps: Consensual eliminates anyone under age, intoxicated, unconscious, under your real world power –ok–that’s gets really tricky once you are doing ttyd-YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!, or doesn’t speak your language. This protects animals as well as people who don’t speak the same language as you.)


* that thing we do/ that thing you do


** My apologies to the talented actress with a like name. I have no idea where she stands on these issues. (I don’t want to know either)

One thought on “The Usual Question: Am I a Sicko?

  1. The video was profound, and I’m a big fan of Patrick Stewart. Nothing we/you do re this issue, This Thing We Do, remotely resembles what Mr. Stewart was talking about. As you tried, and somewhat succeeded, in explaining the almost unexplainable–that we love the dynamic of DD, whether we experience it in real life or not–you can, and should not, place it, or your feelings on the subject, in line with true domestic violence, which to me is truly unexplainable. Even dubious or implied consent does not fall into this category, and I am a fan of dubious/implied consent. You, my dear, are FINE. We all are.

    Hey! You’ve sent off the manuscript. Yay. Looking forward to reading the final product.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s