Dominance,Religion and Sanity

Twenty years ago I wouldn’t have believed I could write stories about dominance in relationships.  Unless I had been kidnapped by aliens.  Who were holding burning sticks to the soles of my feet.

Here’s the funny place my mind went today:

I’m very busy, and somewhat (HAH!) stressed by my life.

There are things I have to do if I’d like to carry my weight in this relationship-keep money rolling in, perform my duties as Household Manager.

There are things I want to do if I’d like to be a human other people would care to know-express my love for people, participate in relationships, be present in relationships.

There are certainly things I ‘d like to do just because: have a manicure and pedicure, work out, take a nap, READ A BOOK.

There are long term projects, tackled by priority-meaning when they come due, which is NOT how I like to live my life.

There are things I’m driven to do it I want to fulfill my promise to myself, (i.e. remain sane)-write.

Frequently I find myself racing thru the day with a hard knot in my stomach.. What have I accomplished from the list?  What should I do next?  Wouldn’t it be better to chill out? If I decide to just chill out, am I being undisciplined?  Does it really make sense to live like this? Should I try to get a prescription for medical marijuana and just calm the fuck down?

I mutter the Serenity Prayer to myself.

Years ago I began to make an effort to effect the serenity prayer in my own life. Initially,  Mind you, initially I was deeply offended by the idea that anyone could suggest they weren’t in control of their universe. I was certainly in control of mine!   Once I got the concept, I found it very soothing.  So today I ran a mental check list of what I was in control of.  The list was still too long.

It would have been very comforting if Someone  (A Dominant, perhaps?) had spoken clearly and told me: Look. Here are the five things you need to do today. Anymore would be insane.  No you’re not being undisciplined to let go of the others.   And since I’ve decided these things for you, you won’t need any medical marijuana. No, you haven’t been kidnapped by aliens. You’ve grown, matured, your ideas about things have changed, so letting someone else be in control no longer feels like an absurd idea.

No one said anything (other than inside my head).

I was forced to continue wrestling with these questions, as well as The List.

Ah hah! I thought.  Here’s where it would be very handy to have Someone in charge.

Like a Head of Household, an Authority Figure (male or female, I don’t care, whatever floats your particular boat).

or

(Sorry, I really don’t mean to offend anyone here,)

a god.

I’m a spiritual person, but I’m not religious, so I don’t have handily prescribed edicts easily applied to my To DO List.  In fact, my To DO List is formed by my spiritual beliefs……and if I’m going to revamp them I’ll need to go to Nepal and meditate for a Very Long Time and consult with Wise people . (Or, I guess, go to a 12 Step meeting)

My Significant Other is currently having a Major Life Crisis and has Things To Do besides looking at my To Do List, making decisions about it, and assuring me that it is ok to leave a LOT of them for tomorrow.  In fact, because of the Major Life Crisis I am honor bound to uphold my portion of our Mutual To Do List

Is it just me? Can one draw a comparison between the two concepts (HoH and god)?

Is an HoH sort of like a mini god? Or your local, private god-figure? god representative?

I believe in this post I have broken all kinds of rules on how to draw readers to your blog and encourage people to read your books.

Sigh.

However,

I feel much saner.

And I get to put a Big Blue Check Mark in the box in front of ‘WRITE’ for today……

Three Reasons to Read Rita Lawless

1) Reading is good for you. It stimulates braincells and makes you a more rounded person.

2) Rita Lawless has a new release: A Real Page Turner is just that: a spanking novel that’s a page turner.  There is mystery, character development, secondary characters, spanking, hot sex, humor.  The heroine is a real person, with a brain that works.  She is not, as we say in Romance Writing World: Too Stupid Too Live. She is a successful, small business owner struggling to increase her market share. The hero is alpha, with a sense of humor.  Did I mention spanking? Hot sex?

3) If you don’t read this someone may spank you. Or, if you’re a spanko, NOT!

The Usual Question: Am I a Sicko?

Earlier this week I watched a clip from (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi_27bpIb30)  Patrick Stewart (Star Trek, right? Sorry, not my thing) speaking at Amnesty International   about violence towards women. It was a good speech, made by a man who seems lovely. Feel free to leave here and go watch and listen.

Of course I hope you come back.

The speech threw me into a funk.  I had just zipped my latest manuscript off to the editors, with several scenes of rough sex, bottom warming, and general using of physical force at times of emotional duress. No one, I thought, who knows me well outside of this community of like minded perverts would believe I wrote those books.

But I did.

I loved them.

Some of you loved them.

Even if you didn’t love them, even if you would rather go without ttyd* than read, you too probably lay awake at nights, occasionally wondering:  what the heck is wrong with me?  I am a strong, independent, successful woman. Why do I yearn for such events?

Or maybe: I’m a strong man, sure, but I love an independent, successful woman, so why is it I yearn to upend her over my knee and remove my belt?

Feel free to flip your sexual orientation and position in the power transfer……Anyone can spank anyone (unless: someone says no) as far as I’m concerned.

As usual, after several days of thought, and some kicking around with others, I end up in the usual place:

Location A:  Saoirse, roughly, translate to “Freedom”

                            Roghan, equally roughly, translates to : “Choice”

That’s why I chose the Alias** I did.  Freedom of Choice is the difference bewteen the Neanderthal Age, misogeny, patriarcy etc and ttwd.

Location B: Find the theory/explanation of your choice.

Safe. Sane. Consensual.

So the answwer to the Usual Question (See Title) is:

No. I’m a Spanko.

                                                                      (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)

(ps: Consensual eliminates anyone under age, intoxicated, unconscious, under your real world power –ok–that’s gets really tricky once you are doing ttyd-YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!, or doesn’t speak your language. This protects animals as well as people who don’t speak the same language as you.)

 

* that thing we do/ that thing you do

 

** My apologies to the talented actress with a like name. I have no idea where she stands on these issues. (I don’t want to know either)

Contemporary Romance with a Spanking Twist

Just finished reading Caitlin’s Conspiracies by Mariella Starr.  I’m not sure if I’ve read anything by her before or not. (This is NOT a comment on her as an author– but me as a woman experiencing an overcrowded hard drive, i.e. my brain :) Anyhow, I really enjoyed this book.  The length is great- it’s  novel length, and well written, mandatory for a serious reader of fiction, not only a spanking fan. There is a well devleoped plot guiding the storyline, not just episodic spanking/sex.  Granted, I like a well done scene with discipline and/or sex as much as the next person, and perhaps more! But I really look for a novel, a story, a romance. Otherwise, it’s porn. There’s nothing wrong if you enjoy porn. I don’t. Probably because I’m an avid reader; my brain is my most developed sex organ.

Caitlin's Conspiracies by Mariella StarrCaitlin is a strong, self sufficient young woman who has been living under the radar for several years after fleeing the WITSEC program where she’d been placed to protect her from the backlash of a murder trial. (Whoah! Just read that sentence without stopping for breath.)  While in WITSEC she fell hard for an agent, Chase, but knew they had no future. In spite of hot sex, he’d told Caitlin he believed in dominance, and the concept didn’t interest her. I enjoyed reading about a heroine who is deeply invested in a man and yet able to walk away because the fit was wrong. Caitlin left WITSEC when the organization seemed determined to help the bad guys find her and lost her hard earned money. Now, doing a favor for a friend on behalf of her beloved horses, Caitlin slips up and her image hits national TV. Chase is on her trail before she knows it.  The rest of the story is the inevitable clash between these two intelligent people, the battle between the  Good Guys and the Bad Guys and an intriguing glimpse into multigenerational domestic discipline.

……….Caitlin ignored compliment. “I repeat, what are you doing here? I’m not in the program
anymore!”
“That’s why I’m here, you idiot,” Chase exclaimed. “I’m trying to save your life!”
“I’ll save my life,” Caitlin said steadily. “I’ve done it before, I’ll do it now.”
“No,” Chase said shaking his head and advancing on her. “I’m here, and I’m reclaiming
what should have been mine for a long time.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Caitlin demanded.
“I don’t like women swearing,” Chase said softly, dangerously. “I especially don’t like
my woman swearing.”
“You’ve gone fucking crazy,” Caitlin exclaimed. “I haven’t seen you in five years, and I
am certainly not your woman.”
“You’re mine,” Chase said stepping around her and hooking his arm around her torso and
picking her up off the floor………from Caitlin’s Conspiracies  By Mariellla Starr

Very interesting to me,  is the fact that Caitlin never completely buys in to the whole DD philosophy.  I think this is very unusual for DD literature.  (Somewhere a Stodgy Professor of Literature is having heart failure over the phrase ‘DD Literature’! Maybe this strict academician will give me a hard spanking…..) Not that Caitlin is an unwilling victim–Throughout the story it becomes clear Chase not only loves Caitlin but respects her independence and recognizes her strengths.  Caitlin loves Chase and by the end of their story, while not being a keen proponent of the practise of domestic discipline, comes to see the men are not all overbearing Neanderthals who have to always be right. She stays with Chase, and accepts his philosophy because she loves him and doesn’t want to live without him.

Go on–it’s $4.99 at Blushing Books.  Read it. Let me know what you think !

!

Surrender

thCAGJQO41It’s been far too long since I was active in this community. I’ve missed it. If you’ve been with me for awhile you know my family was thrown through a loop in February this year and we have yet to land.  My daughter is as weak as a kitten.  The disease has stopped growing-which is good, right? But it is still there and I have no idea what that means and no one is going to tell me until this Friday. Limbo is not my favorite place to be.  limbo_screen

Disappearing from some of my important-to-me-routines is one thing for a short sprint but won’t do for a marathon. I have to put things back in place that keep my spirit strong.  This community is one of them.

The practice of submission is another–one that I didn’t drop.Because, in the end, life happens: glorious, powerful, devastating, awe inspiring. It happens. You might as well surrender gracefully.

surrender